


Remember to Forget

by Celtrist



Series: Make Papyrus Suffer [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesiac Papyrus, Anterograde Amnesia, Cats, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I'm Sorry, It's mainly Papyrus and Sans, Mild Language, Not Beta Read, Other, POV Third Person, Papyrus (Undertale) Has Issues, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22340956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celtrist/pseuds/Celtrist
Summary: Anterograde amnesiaThe loss of the ability to create new memories after the event that caused amnesia, leading to a partial or complete inability to recall the recent past, while long-term memories from before the event remain intact
Relationships: Frisk & Papyrus (Undertale), Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Papyrus & Toriel (Undertale), Papyrus & Undyne (Undertale)
Series: Make Papyrus Suffer [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528121
Comments: 18
Kudos: 66





	Remember to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I used any sort of incorrect tense in this story. I'm not the best at keeping up with that.  
> Anyway, this was an idea that I had that also was momentarily cancelled but then I decided I really wanted to do something with it. Hopefully I did fairly well in sort of representing what a day can be like with this sort of... illness? I dunno if it's really an illness, but I did watch a whole freaking documentary about some girl who suffered this. Anyway, hopefully I didn't do too bad. Tell me if there's spelling errors or anything like that, I'm always open to critiquing. I also tried to add some other characters, but I'm not sure how well that came out. This shouldn't be, but it is primarily a Sans and Paps fic I think in terms of relationships.  
> I dunno, I think more could be done. Maybe I could write different days with different characters (with Papyrus obviously). I'm sure that would be interesting, especially considering we didn't get a lot of Asgore (that being none) and SO MUCH MORE should and could be done between Paps and Undyne.  
> This could also come off as a neat ask blog idea. I just don't really have an AU name for it. I would do something cute like "sticky notes", but that's vague and someone already has that one.  
> Bah, I'm rambling. Hopefully enjoy the story, I'm a bit iffy on it myself (mainly the middle). But hopefully I did well? Like the middle, bit iffy on how I did Pap's character, but hopefully I didn't butcher it entirely.

* * *

The mornings start with a sticky note. It’s odd to say the least. Every time he woke up, there’s just a sticky note stuck to his skull. First thoughts are always that it’s one of Sans’ pranks. Who else would just put a sticky note on his skull in the middle of the night?

He’s always surprised that it’s his hand writing. It’s always the same note, not that he knew that.

“ ** _CHECK YOUR JOURNAL_ **” was written on it with an arrow in black marker. Then he noticed there was a plethora of sticky notes all over his room. Most, if not all being in his hand writing.

Papyrus didn’t remember doing anything like this yesterday, so it was odd to say the least. Last he remembered he was in his car and… odd. He normally remembered the day’s events from yesterday perfectly. Well, not perfectly perfectly, but all most perfectly. However, he couldn’t remember past driving his car. He was going to pick up his brother from Grillby’s, why he was he couldn’t remember. Sleeping there seemed right or ditching job duties that he didn’t feel like participating in seemed right, maybe even having to many drinks. His brother was never a heavy drinker, but sometimes he’d have a good amount of alcohol and then not touch it for months. As far as Papyrus was aware anyway. He never got drunk daily, but he could have some drinks on weekends without the tall skeleton knowing.

Either way, sticky notes were not something he remembered doing, especially to the caliber that it was. They were everywhere in his room, saying different things or pointing him to different items. He didn’t even notice how his room changed. It was totally different. How did he get all this stuff overnight? Papyrus felt frustrated at the thought he’d gotten the items only four months in being on the surface.

Papyrus was quick to ditch the journal sticky notes to look around his room in great confusion before the first place he looks has a sticky note saying: “ ** _LOOK AT THE JOURNAL FIRST!_ **”

Well now he had to considering how adamant his past self seemed to be.

Papyrus went back to two items. One was an actual journal, the other was a clipboard with several pieces of paper in it. The actual journal had a tree on a faux leather cover, the words “ _Always Growing_ ” at the bottom looking as though it was on a ribbon. Different colored tabs were sticking out of it, some with a star and others with dates of years. However, there was a sticky note on it saying it was not the right journal and to read it after. Another sticky note under it said if he felt like it and instructed him to read the first page first.

The clipboard seemed to have been the journal the notes spoke of, one pointing down to it with the word in bold letters emphasizing that it was the case.

He began reading the first page, unsure what to expect aside from the fact that he had written it.

As he read the first few lines, he couldn’t quite fathom anything. Reading further, tears were falling down to the page. Taking a quick peak, other pages had tear stains.

Papyrus wanted to believe it as some cruel joke, maybe Sans learned how to copy his hand writing, but his brother wasn’t this cruel. He had to scan the lines again to read the situation before moving down to find what else had to be written.

It was what he did yesterday. What he did yesterday as well as anything happening today, one of which being that Sans would probably ask to play chess. He told himself not to ask why they would be, leaving at he explained enough times that it was supposed to help keep his brain sharp, or whatever he had for a brain.

The final lines were an attempt at Papyrus trying to cheer himself up, saying that everything would be fine and to try and look up. It also told him that it could be nice to read the other journal now.

He still felt skeptical about everything. He wouldn’t lie to himself, nor would any of his friends play such a cold-hearted joke. Going by those standards, this was either all real or just a dream.

He hoped for the latter.

Opening the faux leather journal, the first page acted as an introduction. What he noted first was the date it was written, which all the other pages would follow in example. It was two years from what was supposedly now. In fact, it was exactly yesterday’s date aside from the year.

The intro was made brief with Papyrus telling himself that the journal was to be used for journaling some of the most important events that occur in his life, and only for that. Nothing small like he went on a walk or telling him what he’d be doing the day he reads it. This was for the utmost important of things that Papyrus would’ve remembered and never forget. Never wanted to forget.

He gave himself three rules:

Keep it positive and ensure that the event is extremely important enough to journal it. It also told him not to write down his feelings exactly like a diary, as that was what his actually diary was for.

Papyrus couldn’t recall having any sort of diary before looking under the journal to find another journal under it with the label that wasn’t on a sticky note but written on the cover itself “ ** _YOUR DIARY_ **”.

Before he bothered looking at that, he took to skimming through the journal currently in his hands - his “Events Journal” as he dubbed it apparently.

Once again, he was feeling overwhelmed. Reading through different passages, different times, things that he couldn’t possibly remember being apart of. And as he continued, the year number increased until he got to where there was a place marker indicating it to be the latest entry.

Five years seemed hard to believe. How could he not remember the past five years? That’s five years on the surface. Five years he’s been living. Just… how does he forget that?

His other morning journal told him it was some car crash, but did it just send him to the future or something?

Feeling done with the heavy notebook already, he moved to see the diary.

It was painfully obvious that he was not the one to have gotten it. For one, there was a cat. Why was there a cat with little to no bone designs? And that was such a random animal choice, he wouldn’t even say that was his favorite. It was another leather binding, one with a buckle on the side that helped keep the journal closed. The cover design of it had the base color of black with a cat outlined in a metallic gold color a little above the center. It’s eyes were wide with seemingly curiosity, a large metallic gold circle behind it that had a ring around that along with dots between the circle and ring. There was a two lined golden border around the cover that had a paw print at the top along with two skeletons of fish below it facing opposite directions away from each other, between them being three four pointed stars, the middle being the largest. The corners had hearts with the bottom of the diary having the words “ **GOOD LUCK** ” in gold and bold, looking as though it was on a ribbon. The space between these designs had different handwriting scrawled all over in white marker. The most notable was the before mentioned “ ** _YOUR DIARY_ **” that was fairly large and filled up a good amount of space between the border and golden circle. The rest was not his hand writing but what seemed to be all of his friends’ hand writing, along with some doodles that were simple and small, most of which being bones. But there were one or two hearts and a couple of inverted hearts. Not too many though. Most of the space was filled with writing from people he knew.

He could tell some just by how they were phrased who they were by.

Undyne was aggressive through her words but still very loving in what she wrote, being “ ** _STAY STRONG YOU LOVABLE NERD!_ ** ”. Another was easily his brother’s simply because he had no respect for capitalization in saying, “ ** _you’re a_ ** **_bone-_ a-** ** _fied star bro_ ** ”. And of course a pun was included. Not that he hates them, he actually rather enjoyed puns in their own way. A sort of guilty pleasure of his. Sometimes Papyrus makes them as well, even if he doesn't actually realize he's making them. In fact, this was a pun Papyrus himself did. Which y'know, he feels obligated to call Sans out on it, but he's glad it wasn't one of his brother's more awful puns. That was what annoyed him usually, just that he was so lazy to make good, thoughtful puns. Granted even his brother's bad puns made Papyrus smile.

Still, he was a disgrace to punners everywhere.

Frisk wrote something down with a human and monster SOUL caging their message saying, “ _ **Stay DETERMINED!**_ ”.

Messages continued from three others on the front. “ ** _Remember we’re here for you_ ** ” was Toriel with the pretty handwriting along with the reminder that he had monsters and a human who cared for him. “ ** _Be sure to take care of yourself_ ** ” was Asgore. That one he had mainly guessed on his handwriting as well as there being a small poor looking doodle of a flower next to it, but Asgore was a rather caring monster who would advocate for that sort of thing so it made sense he’d write something like that. “ ** _Don’t lose yourself_ **” was Alphys. Another one that was mainly based on handwriting and a small looking anime cat head winking. As much as he didn’t care for anime, the message itself was kind. The cover had other notes in mainly by those five monsters and human. Most of which was Sans, Undyne, and Frisk in that order.

One ominous note was something he’d prefer without honestly.

“ _ **don’t fall**_ ”

Papyrus wasn’t sure how to take that. Especially coming from his brother’s writing.

Flipping it back there were other notes that he noticed made by those he knew but weren’t especially close to. There was ones from the dogs as a whole, one from monster kid written by Frisk (it was noted who it was from below the message), there was even one from Mettaton that was larger and more fabulous and elegant than the other messages who Papyrus would in normal circumstances freak out over.

It was hard to feel that way when he was kicking off his morning with so much information being dumped on him.

Opening the diary, the first page was once again an intro. He simply told him to write whatever here and date it, as well as to put the marker where he last leaves off. Feelings, notes to write down later, poems, anything he wants. It was supposed to be a brain dump of sorts. His past self wanted him to carry it around to carry this around along with a pen or pencil. A trick he told himself to use was that the space between the book and buckle could hold the writing utensil he’d be using. The page said if he runs out of pages, be sure to take pages out and bind new ones in, but at least leave one page from each year in. Two boxes should be in his closet, one labeled “ ** _DIARY PAPER_ ** ” and the other “ ** _DIARY ENTRIES_ **”.

The first page started one year after the supposed accident, with the next few pages skipping until it got to the current year.

Once again, there was skimming. Different poems, different notes, some even had sticky notes and loose paper inside or also had others’ writing in it. Some being them responding to Papyrus’ writing, to which at times he responded back, or making their own notes or writings for Papyrus themselves. Once again, Sans, Undyne, and Frisk were the main culprits.

Unlike the event journal, the diary was up to date, at least he believed that to be the case with it matching the event journal. It was ahead though by a month.

Papyrus read the latest entry, seeing it lining close with a lot of the other ones. Each one always started with Papyrus pouring out his thoughts and feelings about everything onto a page. How it all seems so unbelievable, how it had to not be real before it back tracked into yes, this was his reality. He couldn’t be sad in his event journal, so he had to be in his diary. At least at the beginning. The rest was notes on what happened during the day, some of which he already read in the clipboard. Others random writings or quotes. It wasn’t neat in any way, but it was something.

Papyrus looked at a cup that had all his writing utensils. Seeing as there was no specific medium he was using, some in pencil others in pen - compared to his event journal that only used pen - Papyrus hesitantly grabbed one of the utensils and marked the date down in the diary. At this point, he should’ve woken up. Everything felt too real to be a dream, too concrete.

It was terrifying.

With those feelings, he wrote them down with a shaky hand and trying to quit with the flow of tears. How many times did he feel like this? How many times did he write something like this? A lot? Probably.

Other than that, Papyrus wasn’t sure what else to write and opted for closing the diary to look around his seemingly foreign room, wiping away his skull to be a little more dry. Even though he was older now, even if he didn’t realize it, his aesthetic ceased to change. He still had his wonderful car bed - he remembered being sad to know that the bed couldn’t be an actual car - along with his ever so amazing black flag that had a skull and crossbones. But there were new additions, aside from what he already knew about since he moved to the surface. Dimly lit lights now surrounded around his bed on the wall, with different pictures of things he didn’t remember being apart of nor taking. The desk was new and larger with more drawers and shelves built in holding different things while surrounding a sleek looking computer. His bookcase was still there, the paint he did with Frisk from what was a week ago to him now worn. Instead of a table, Papyrus now had a full on display that took up a lot of wall on one side of his room. It had different figures, some old with most being new. His previous flaming rug wasn’t present and instead replaced with a large, soft, purple-lilac colored rug that took up as much space as the other one did, covering up birch wood flooring. A variety of different colored sticky notes, pictures he doesn’t recall hanging up or taking pictures of, and some loose leaf paper covered the maroon walls with different notes and messages. Once again, some being from others, most from himself. One loose leaf paper gave him a to do list on things to at least always try to do everyday. At the bottom, it told him not to worry if he didn’t do everything, at least doing the starred items on the list is enough. There weren't many starred, and they were things he normally did routinely anyway. Brush his teeth in the morning and before going to bed and eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner were ones he just did normally. However, some were noticeably different with a set bedtime he’d given himself with some exceptions and to feed someone named Calibri and Jandles. As well as clean the litter.

Did they have a cat? Papyrus couldn’t recall-

…

Right, of course he wouldn’t.

Moving away from that, he went to the closet that stayed mainly the same with some extra things and sticky notes once more. He first took notice with the boxes that were labeled for the diary. The first one that said “ ** _DIARY PAPER_ ** ” was self explanatory with it just being a large stack of paper that was the size of the diary. The other box had papers as well, but the stacks were notably binded. Picking up and looking at the top of the stack, the title page was “ ** _YEAR 4 ENTRIES_ ** ”. Picking up the next set of binded papers was the title page saying “ ** _YEAR 3 ENTRIES_ **”. He didn’t bother to skim through, simply placing them back into the box. Perhaps later.

He still felt disoriented with everything that he’d learned in such a brief period of time. But try to live his life, that’s what his friends and himself said to do. So he’d try his best to do that. Starting with getting dressed.

Another sticky note told him to wear a cozy sweater he’d apparently gotten last year. That was something too, a lot more sweaters in his closet. A lot more cozier clothes really. He had one sweater back underground, and he still sees he has his battle body and dating outfit among other articles of clothing that matched his boisterous personality. There were also tabs to differentiate his clothes from winter and fall and spring and summer, with the bonus category of special occasions.

Back to the task at hand, the sweater that past Papyrus wanted him to wear a dull coral-pinkish color turtleneck cashmere that had two braid designs that went from his shoulder down to the bottom of the shirt. Putting it on was snug and comfortable. Not at all bad. The pants the sticky notes told him to wear also fit just fine. Something that Papyrus was hesitant to follow was wearing a pair of black sweatpants. There was another grey pair as well, both of which he didn’t expect he’d ever see in his closet. Sweats was more of a Sans thing than Papyrus, but he followed through with what the sticky note told him to do.

Putting them on, he began thinking they were more like yoga pants but wasn’t quite sure. It wasn’t tight at all with the legs being loose. It was still more of a Sans thing, but he’s guilty of liking how it felt.

Something comfort was good. Maybe he got all the snug clothes because he knew he’d want to wear some stuff like that after finding out everything.

…

Papyrus felt like crying again.

Stepping out of his bedroom, he looked around to see if anything changed at all. There were some new items and pictures here and there along with some sticky notes, but nothing new for their house on the surface. It was a pretty good mirror image of the house underground with the exception that it was bigger, had one or two extra rooms, and different placement in some furniture. And it still made as much sense as their previous one. That being zero sense.

Sometimes, Papyrus is pretty sure Sans just somehow shortcut their whole freaking house to the surface with some addons. But they were always fine with what they had underground, so they never dawdled on how to improve it when new buildings had to be made for monsters coming in. It wasn’t like they were the only ones, considering Undyne still kept the style of her house as well.

The best way to describe their surface house was that it was familiar yet different.

Something smelled surprisingly good though, which had to be the most out of place thing in the house.

Walking down the stairs, Papyrus looked around to see anymore changes. There were certainly more movies underneath the TV, along with more pictures he couldn’t really remember. He slowed to feel the green sofa. It was new. Papyrus recalled complaining about their couch for how much stuff was hidden inside it, but Sans joked it was holding so many memories.

Now it was a new couch, with new memories that Papyrus couldn’t remember. It was frustrating.

A small meow took him out of his thought, as he looked at the back of the couch to see a sleek black cat loudly purring, looking at him intently.

“Hello?” Papyrus spoke quietly confused as he reached to touch the feline’s head.

The cat took the hand with ease, mewling with a rumble to its voice. It was pure black in color, and when it opened its eyes, Papyrus saw how its eyes were clouded over.

Papyrus had to stop and look down when he was feeling something rub at his legs. It was yet another cat, except this one was larger and was more ginger in its thick fur. It was also notably far more fluffy and had a blue eye on its left side and a goldish-orange eye on its right. Something that took merely moments to notice was that the cat had a small hop to its steps. That's when Papyrus saw it was missing a front leg, its right.

It looked up to him, also purring with a meow before jumping onto the couch. It moved pretty smooth for only having three legs. It was quick to see how the feline was seeking attention.

“Um…” Papyrus obliged, using his other hand to pet its head.

Another content meow came from the ginger feline, with moments before he heard his brother from the kitchen.

“you up bro?” he called, but made no appearance out of the kitchen. Was _he_ cooking? Sans never cooked properly.

“Um… YES?” he answered, clearing his voice midway through.

“don’t sound too sure about that.”

Papyrus took his hands away from the cats to move towards the kitchen, which was a lot bigger compared to their old home. Sans was at the stove actually cooking in his normal attire, and it didn’t smell too bad. The sight was odd, especially considering this meant Sans had gotten up earlier than him.

The shorter skeleton looked back to him with a relaxed grin. “wanna take a seat?”

“... SURE…” Papyrus moved himself to take a seat at their kitchen table, which was round in shape but could extend and become longer if pulled apart. They had that extra piece somewhere…

Papyrus sat his diary on the table next to him, feeling awkward in how to approach anything right now. He looked around to find it the same as the rest of the house. Some new stuff, some things staying the same. Another meow caught him off guard, and he saw the orange tabby going around and rubbing itself against Sans’ legs. He looked down upon feeling something sniff him to see the black cat poking their nose at his feet before rubbing against him.

“think they might want food bro.”

Food? Oh! Right! It slipped his mind that he needed to feed them. Papyrus stood back up and just did things silently.

There was a little set up that included two bowls sitting on one stand, and another smaller stand with only one bowl on it filled with water a few inches away. He looked around, trying to remember anything relating to this. Lo and behold, there was a sticky note on the lower corner cabinet by the dishes that said “ ** _CAT FOOD_ **”. Opening it, there were more sticky notes inside the door, outlining what he needed to do.

Papyrus followed the instructions to the best of his abilities, filling the dishes the amount needed.

The orange tabby was first to get there for breakfast, the black cat needing a bit more pushing. Papyrus shook the unoccupied bowl to get its attention, as the instructions told him to do. He did so until it was clear they were making their way over and beginning to eat themselves.

Now something about a litter box, right? Where would that be? The laundry room?

“hey bro,” Papyrus snapped out of his daze which has been becoming more consistent to look at Sans who was setting up the table, “can you get milk out of the fridge?”

His brother’s calm demeanor seemed unnerving for some reason. It made Papyrus feel out of the loop, which he supposed he was technically. He was out of it by five years in fact.

Opening the fridge, there was a lot of different food and containers, the containers each having labels. Some were in his hand writing, some in Sans’, one was labeled “ ** _Pie_ **” in pretty handwriting that had to be Toriel’s. Papyrus went to the milk immediately.

He was on autopilot as he just began opening the jug and pouring milk into the two glasses on the table.

“hey,” Papyrus stopped pouring to look at Sans as he asked, “can i read?” he tapped his diary. Papyrus felt hesitant before giving a small nod.

He heard pages flip as he began putting the milk back in the fridge. Looking to the stove, Papyrus saw that there were pancakes in a pan and a stack on a plate to the side as well as a bowl of his favorite food: oatmeal with the gummy dinosaur eggs. Certainly a breakfast food, but Papyrus recalled different times when he’d had it for dinner. Either way, all of it looked surprisingly well made, if not at the very least decently. It was the first time Papyrus had seen his brother not botch up his oatmeal or even placed effort into making pancakes... at least until he realized that he must've seen this all before. A worry built up in how Papyrus had been actually living out his days if Sans had place actual placed energy into doing something like cooking. However, he decided to gloss over for now. Perhaps he'd ask later if he bothered to remember.

He took it upon himself to grab the pan and just put the food on the plate. Might as well be a little useful. As he worked on that, he was hearing pencil scratch against paper. Turning around with the plate of pancakes in one hand and the bowl of oatmeal in the other, Papyrus looked to see Sans writing something down in his diary before closing it and looking back at him.

“aw, c’mon bro,” Sans walked over and took the plate of pancakes out of his hand saying, “i coulda handled it. you’re ‘spose to have a chill day today.”

Right… yeah, his morning journal mentioned something along those lines. Papyrus mumbled an “okay” and took his seat again, flipping back through the diary as Sans started plating some of the pancakes. Below what he had written this morning, Sans wrote a message, something he noticed were below quite a few of his morning entries in his diary.

This one basically told him that things would get better and he could ask any questions at any time. That was a mantra with a lot of Sans’ add-ons after the morning entries. He also wrote that it was okay to cry if he needed to.

Papyrus closed the diary and buckled it, placing the pencil between the buckle and journal itself snugly. He heard something get set down, and looked up to see a bottle of syrup. There was a sticky note on it.

The syrup said “ ** _YOU LIKE THIS_ **”. He looked at the item skeptically.

“you like eating pancakes with that,” Sans spoke up, causing Papyrus to look at him. He was stabbing his pancakes with a fork, his food covered in syrup already. “you also like blueberry pancakes, but we didn’t have any, so honey pancakes.”

Papyrus eyed him curiously. “THAT’S AN AWFUL LOT OF SUGAR.”

“yeah, well, you like it, promise,” Papyrus took a moment before pouring the syrup on top of the pancakes, taking his brother’s word. “you uh, also don’t hafta pretend,” the lanky skeleton paused for a few seconds as he set the syrup bottle back down. “i get it’s pretty… bad and all. you don’t hafta act like your fine if you don’t want to.”

Papyrus stayed quiet, looking at his pancakes in contemplation. Had he done this before? What was he saying, of course he had. It probably partially came down to the morning entry and acting that Sans caught on that Papyrus was straining a bit to use his normal booming voice, but he could see that it could’ve been something to have happened often in the past. Plus, his brother was pretty observant on this kind of stuff, particularly with Papyrus himself.

Cutting the stack, he stabbed his fork through the pancakes and gave a little “okay” before pushing the food through his teeth. It was fluffy and sweet, that was probably the honey mixed with the syrup. He had to admit it tasted pretty good.

Neither made much effort to speak, more so Papyrus than Sans until a furry friend rubbed against him again. Looking under the table, he was yet again met with the tabby.

“Sans?”

“hm?”

“What’s This One’s Name?” he asked, nodding his head down.

Sans looked under the table, smiling before coming back up. “that’s jandles. she’s yours,” he said. “got her from a rescue. she really likes to love on everybody.”

“I See…” Papyrus murmured. He looked over to the black cat, who was drinking from the water bowl now. “And That One?”

“calibri. she’s also yours. she’s actually your first one. think we got her two years ago? i know i got you jandles last year for gyftmas. they’re both pretty young, cal is just blind. jan does pretty good with just three legs though.”

Papyrus stabbed another piece. “That’s Good,” he said, pausing before questioning, “... Why Do We Have Cats?”

“support animals basically,” he answered. “helps give ya some consistency. if you can remember something like that you have to take care of something tomorrow, then that’s progress.”

Papyrus nodded before taking a drink of milk. “Um, Where’s The Litt-”

Sans cut him short. “took care of it,” he said. “today’s your chill day, okay? y’know what today is?”

Papyrus frowned trying to think. Today… what was today again? It was on the clipboard.

“it’s uh, the day of the accident,” Oh. Right. Yeah, his morning journal mentioned that. Man, he was such a mess to have forgotten something like that already. “you read the clipboard, right?” Papyrus nodded, peeking over to his brother’s face to see the smile straining. He was good at the observant game too. “you read that part?”

Dropping his fork, Papyrus grabbed the bowl of oatmeal and turned the contents with his spoon, pulling it towards his chest as he brought up his knees. “Yes,” he mumbled. “I Think I Did,” he looked at how the oatmeal flipped in the bowl with the flick of the spoon, avoiding his brother’s face now. He felt bad for not remembering. Because understanding the situation, that couldn’t be a good sign at all. “... I’m Sorry-”

“it’s fine,” Papyrus looked up to see Sans still looking at him, his expression isn’t tight as much as it was comforting. “you just forgot, no biggie. everyone forgets things sometimes,” Papyrus opened his mouth to argue, but Sans continued. “i get it. it’s a bit more scary now but… i swear, you’re fine bro. this isn’t the first time you’ve done it, but this isn’t the hundredth time you’ve done it. you’re fine, promise.”

Papyrus shut his teeth only to open them again to once again say “okay”.

Another round of silence before Sans asked, “you wanna play chess?”

There was a clock ticking. They didn’t have that kind of clock before, only digital. It was above the table that still had Sans’ pet rock. How well has he remembered to feed it? It was on Papyrus’ to do list, but it wasn’t starred. That meant Sans had begun putting work into it, right?

“checkmate.” Papyrus blinked. He just kept getting out of reality lately, hasn’t he? Looking down, Sans had indeed won.

Papyrus never was good at chess.

“wanna start over?”

Before he could think, Papyrus answered, “Do You?”

Sans stared before repeating the question, emphasizing that he was asking if Papyrus wanted to start over.

He moved in his seat, looking at the kitchen table giving no answer. Was he thinking too hard? He probably was. Looking back up to Sans, his brother waiting patiently. He was always the patient type.

“Not Really.”

“‘kay,” Sans began cleaning up the table.

Looking down in his lap, Papyrus continued petting a loud purring Calibri. Apparently she didn’t like Sans very much and was quite partial to Papyrus for the most part. That was kinda the point anyway though, for Papyrus to have the bond with the cat.

Speaking of animals though, that brought up a question…

“What Happened To That Annoying Dog?”

“same as always, comes and goes,” he said. “usually hangs out with me. doesn’t really touch your stuff too much anymore. also doesn’t mess with the cats’ things which is good.”

“I See They’re Not Living Up To Their Name Anymore.”

“nah, they’ve totally been terrorizing the surface. they’ve been on something like, twelve different news channels.”

“Oh, Fantastic. That Dog Has Been On The News Before Me.”

Sans stiffened as he closed the chessboard admitting, “actually, you were on before him.”

“Really?”

“yeah…” Sans looked off to the side. “after the accident… ‘bout your condition…”

Papyrus’ shoulders fell, without even realizing they had rose in the first place. “Oh…”

“yeah... it’s a weird case apparently? since in humans, stuff like this is because of something in the brain, but because we’re made up of entirely magic it’s pretty unknown why you’re um… like this.”

“Oh…” Papyrus gaze fell back to the cat. “What Do Humans Do To Get Rid Of It?”

“nothin’. normally time. sometimes it wears off, other times it doesn’t. there’s stuff you do to help.”

“Is Chess One Of Them?”

Sans shrugged. “sorta? keeps your mind thinking and working, which is good... should probably do some memory games, haven’t done that at all this week.”

Papyrus merely nodded, picking up his foreign looking phone to look through some photos. Sans said that could be a nice thing to do aside from looking at the journal, but he also said it could basically bring out the same effects. Curiosity got the better of him though, and he began scrolling through pictures that seemed like they were from another time.

They went to the beach… an amusement park… Undyne and Alphys’ wedding… wait.

Papyrus double tracked to that set of pictures. They were clearly pictures of Alphys and Undyne in wedding attire. Alphys had a beautiful white dress along with veil while Undyne had a white suit. There were several pictures. One had the two women in front of a cake, another had Undyne taking a picture with Papyrus of course giving him a noogie, and other assortments like that. There were probably more, but they were most likely actual photos rather than something on his phone. He wanted to see them, he wanted to remember them. This was his friend’s wedding - his best friend’s wedding! And it just isn’t coming to mind what happened and Papyrus felt frustrated that he couldn’t remember something as important as-

“you okay bro?” Papyrus felt his brother’s hand rubbing his back, taking moments to realize there were tears rolling off his cheekbones.

Rubbing his face he said in a shaky voice, “Y-Yes, I’m Fine Brother, Just Fine…”

Sans leaned an arm on the table, leaning over to get a better look at his brother’s face. “you don’t look too good… was it the wedding?” Papyrus didn’t say anything, nor did he stop when Sans grabbed his phone to look. This… wasn’t the first time, clearly. “... you were still the best man, y’know?” he murmured. “undyne wouldn’t settle for anyone else… you were so overwhelmed on the actual wedding, thought you’d break down in the middle of it.”

“I… I Didn’t?” Papyrus asked.

“nah. you just rolled with it. you just… enjoyed what was happening. which i mean… was a lot better than worrying about everything. you uh, you didn’t wanna sleep that night.”

Papyrus brow bones furrowed. “How Come?”

“didn’t wanna forget,” he said. “i think that was the first time you really… you really didn’t wanna forget. and that’s one of the first entries in that event journal thing you have… yeah, it was pretty much the first entry ‘cuz you wrote down everything you could remember down before goin’ to bed.”

Setting the phone back on the table, Sans turned back to lean against the furniture playing with the cuffs of his sleeve. He seemed to be pending on his thoughts, to say something.

But then Sans seemingly avoided his own question saying, “we should probably start leavin’ soon,” Papyrus frowned - both out of the fact he didn't know why they needed to and that he'd normally be the one to say that rather than Sans. Before he could ask, his brother reminded him. “we all decided to just have a picnic today. to sorta change things up from what you usually do,” right. Papyrus vaguely remembered a picnic being mentioned on the clipboard.

“What Do I Normally Do?”

“stay at home,” he said. “maybe watch the window, but not really much. so y’know, we decided to help give you more of an incentive to do something. i mean, we could not go, but i think it’d be good to do,” he said. “we can always leave early if you want.”

Papyrus didn’t say anything for moments until he just said the same thing he’s been saying to answer things.

“Okay.”

Papyrus moved the straw around in his cup. Making himself a smoothie was apart of his to do list. There were a couple of sticky notes by the blender, each of which outlining a recipe to different smoothies he enjoyed. Today he decided on an apple smoothie, something he never really thought to be “smoothie-able”.

“Papyrus?” He snapped out of his thoughts to the sound of Toriel’s voice. “Are you feeling well dear?”

“Y-Yes, I’m... I'm Fine Thank You.” he said, tensing at the question.

Toriel’s face furrowed before she asked, “How did you sleep?”

Papyrus looked down at his travel cup before answering, “Fine I Suppose.”

“How was your morning?” she asked.

Papyrus paused in thought for a minute before answering, “The Usual.”

At least he guessed it was the usual. It only made sense if it was.

“You seem out of it today.”

He shrugged. “I Guess I Don’t Feel Like… I Don’t Quite Know What I’m Feeling? Sorry.”

“That’s quite alright Papyrus,” she said. “Everyone has those days, and you’re no exception.”

Papyrus didn’t respond, turning to look around the park again sipping his drink. He tried looking for distractions in his mind that didn’t involve a lot of talking to himself. He admitted in his diary that now that he’d calm down from all the overwhelming feelings from having his condition, now he just wasn’t sure how to act. All his notes told him to act like he always would, but it felt difficult to when he was five years behind everyone else.

Looking back at older entries, he realized he’d repeated things. Like, today wasn’t the first time he apologized to Undyne for not remembering her wedding. He made a note to leave a sticky note to stop apologizing.

And then there’s the simple fact that everything and everyone is changing in ways out of their control. Frisk had gotten taller notably. They were probably the one changing the most simply due to the fact that humans have a shorter lifespan than monsters. Not that every monster live as long as Asgore and Toriel, but there was normally a difference between the two in average age of death. Not that Papyrus was aware of that. He never made it that far in to remember something like that.

Papyrus’ sockets landed on something odd that he didn’t know and tapped his brother’s shoulder, whom was merely snoozing away the whole time anyway.

Cracking a socket, Sans’ light flickered over to Papyrus asking, “what’s up bro?”

“What’s That?” Papyrus pointed to the foreign subject, and Sans followed in the direction.

Sans smiled lazily before looking forward again and leaning into Papyrus’ side. “s’chipmunk bro. they’re like squirrels but not as common.”

Papyrus hummed, not bothering to scold when Sans stole a sip of his smoothie. Looking back at the picnic, leaning back out of surprise when he was suddenly met with Frisk holding something out for him. It was clearly a plate of food, he just wasn’t sure what.

“you like ‘em,” Sans murmured. He thought his brother had fallen back asleep, but that didn’t appear to be the case at all.

“Oh, Then Um…” Papyrus gingerly took a piece, examining it. It looked… not the most appetizing, certainly sticky. “What Is It?”

“an apple fritter,” his brother mumbled.

“Well, Thank You Frisk. Did You And Lady As - Erm - I Mean Toriel Make This?” They nodded, smiling brightly when he self corrected.

“that’s really good bro,” Sans praised.

“What, The Food?”

“well i’d hope so, but i was talkin’ about the correcting.”

Papyrus fumbled with the fritter saying, “It Was Because A Note Told Me To Try And Call Her That.”

“still, it’s good,” Papyrus wasn’t so sure on that.

Any other comments that would’ve been made was lost once Undyne butted in via dropping next to Papyrus and hooking an arm around his shoulders and holding up another dish for Papyrus to eat.

“C’mon nerd! Eat this!”

Papyrus looked at it skeptically asking, “What Is It?”

“Miso yaki onigiri!”

“Miso… Yak… Undyne, Is This From One Of Those Cartoons For Babies You Watch With Alphys?”

“What?! No! For starters, those are NOT cartoons for babies and three-”

“Wait, Where’s Two?”

“-it’s just a Japanese dish! It’s from a different country, and Alphys and I were trying real hard to make this right!”

Alphys, who was wearing a white sundress, spoke up ever so timidly as usual “A-a-actually, it… i-it wasn’t th-that... that hard-”

“You’ll really like this!” Undyne said pushing it to Papyrus.

“I Never Had It?”

“Nope! And this feels like my thousandth freaking attempt to getting you to like _one_ damn Japanese dish! Now try it punk!”

“I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SO OVERWHELMED WITH FOOD!” Papyrus spoke naturally without trying, panicked in what to eat as Frisk continued ushering him to eat the fritter.

They left a little early. Papyrus used his dislike for the food Undyne gave him as an excuse saying it made him feel sick. The whole time, Asgore was absent. Frisk mentioned that Asgore had political business, which boggled Papyrus’ mind to know humans and monsters were actually on talking terms now. Well, he always had belief it would happen, but he didn’t expect the two sides being on talking terms and could do so without Frisk.

In five years, monsters had certainly gained some respect in society. There weren’t nearly as many protesters as Papyrus remembered.

Before they left the picnic, Toriel insisted they take some food home. Papyrus didn’t exactly know how to react, so he just agreed. No one asked why Papyrus wanted to leave or anything, something he was glad for. He appreciates how everyone is talking like everything is fine and normal, but at the same time… it all felt too normal. When he realized he was using his normal volume of voice midway through everything, he forgot what he was doing before. Or more so feeling in a sense. He was just living in the moment, something that seemed hard to do in theory. If he purposely tried, it wouldn’t work and he’d end up stiff. But not trying, just being with his friends got him to relax. At least for a little while.

After taking care of his feline associates, Papyrus made sure to write down his experiences in his diary. Upon opening it, there was new handwriting.

Undyne.

She never was the kind of monster to butt into others’ personal things, but she must’ve asked so many times that by now, she just does whatever. Or maybe she just wanted to leave the note that they would be hanging out with each other tomorrow, no questions asked.

Well, there’s his plans for tomorrow he supposed.

“hey pap?” Papyrus hummed, petting… Calibri he believed. The black one was Calibri. Probably. He pet her as she ate from her dish, sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. “you wanna watch a movie?”

Papyrus was about to agree before a thought came through. How many times had Sans asked this? Moreover, how often did they just watch the same movie over and over again?

“I’m Not Sure.”

“not sure, huh?” Sans asked, plopping down to take a seat next to him. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, as usual. “y’know, we got that movie you really wanted to see. we could watch that.”

“How many times have we already?” Papyrus spoke quickly, causing Sans to look at him with some surprise. “... Watched that movie, that is.”

Sans didn’t say anything, and Papyrus was far too focused on the cat to pay attention to his brother’s current expression. The silence really just told him his answer.

“... still wanna watch something?”

“Do You?” he asked back.

He wasn’t met with any immediate answer, instead, both sat there and allowed a few moments to pass before Sans stood up. He held out a hand to Papyrus saying, “c’mon. let’s go watch something.”

“How Many Times Have We Watched This?”

“don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“But Aren’t You Sick Of It By Now?”

“i said don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“...”

“...”

“... You Probably Hate This Movie Now.”

“... be right back.”

As Sans got up from his seat, Jandles took it as an invitation to sit in his spot. Calibri was on the back of the couch, and Papyrus was seated normally with a blanket over his lap, looking at the TV intently. He really liked the movie, and if it wasn’t for his situation, he’d wonder how someone would ever get tired of watching it. But if he was only watching this for five years, then maybe he wouldn’t like it as much. So Sans probably hated this movie now. He didn’t even give Papyrus a choice really. Granted, yes, this is the movie he’d want to watch, but he didn’t want his brother to be bored or anything.

As he heard dishes clinking against each other from the kitchen, something was heard going down the stairs. Looking over, a white blur rushed down and quickly secured a spot at Papyrus’ feet.

“Well There You Are You Annoying Canine,” he mumbled, reaching down to pet his head. Then he had to hold in a sigh. “And Of Course You Have My Special Attack,” he leaned back into the couch crossing his arms. “I Don’t Very Well Feel Like Dealing With You.”

The dog didn’t seemed bothered, continuing on with his chewing.

The lights to the kitchen turned off, resulting in darkness to encase the whole house with the exception of the living room. Sans came out with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a plate of Toriel’s pie they had in the other.

“man, someone decided they could just replace me, huh?” he teased, seeing Jandles grooming herself as she sat in his seat. " i'm _feline_ wounded here."

“She Made Herself Comfortable. I Can’t Move Her If She Finds A Home In Your Seat.”

“yeah ya can. c’mon cat,” Sans set down the plate and bowl on the coffee table in front of the couch before picking Jandles up carefully and placing her on Papyrus’ lap.

Papyrus stiffened a bit, not used to having an animal on him. More specifically, he had no idea how to hold her with only one front paw to work with. So he just did the same thing he did with Calibri earlier in the day and let Jandles do whatever. The fluffy tabby jumped off with ease and walked away to somewhere else with a hop in her step.

“Look What You Did,” Papyrus scolded, “You Made Her Upset.”

“yup,” Sans agreed and held out the plate of pie. “want some? brought more than one fork.”

“Sans, I Haven’t Even Had Dinner Yet.”

“little past the time bro,” oh, Papyrus didn’t even notice it was past 9:00. That’s past his dinner time for sure. “it’s fine. i’ll make sure you’re on it tomorrow,” Sans said. “‘sides, i was in charge tonight and uh, kinda forgot. so no biggie, this can be our dinner.”

Of course Sans took the easy way out. It’s been years since he made an actual dinner instead of something like a pb&j. Then again, to Papyrus may just be seeing it from his very different perspective now. To him it’s been years, but maybe it’s been only a week for Sans.

Fiddling with his hands, Papyrus asked, “Do I… Do I Still Cook?”

His brother wasted no time in answering. “yeah. you do. sometimes with undyne still. sometimes you have cooking lessons with tori too.”

“Lady Asgore?”

Sans chuckled. “yeah. i don’t mean to be rude, but i don’t think undyne’s methods were exactly… right for cooking entirely.”

“I See…”

Sans held out the plate a little closer to him before Papyrus took the fork resting on the plate, grabbing the dish himself to cut a piece off to eat. Sans came in momentarily with his own fork taking a piece of the corner of the pie.

“... Brother?” Papyrus spoke up to ask, “Do You Know This Movie By Heart Now-”

“let’s drop that topic bro,” Sans interrupted, taking another piece of pie. “doesn’t really matter all too much.”

Papyrus frowned, putting his fork on the plate to put it on the table arguing, “Actually, I Think It Does.”

“really?”

“Yes,” he said. “You Shouldn’t Have To Watch This Five Years Straight Because I Can’t Remember We Watched It Yesterday,” Sans had the bowl of popcorn in his lap, his hand dangling into the buttery contents just staring ahead. Since he didn’t look like he’d be responding anytime soon, Papyrus continued, “We Can Watch Different Things. Wouldn’t That Be Fun? Or You Could Trick Me Into Watching A Movie We’ve Already Watched That You Like But I Don’t. I Won’t Know,” he’s pretty sure there weren’t any lights in his sockets. “You Know, You Could Do A Lot Of Different Tricks, And I Couldn’t Very Well Know You Did The Next Day. Get Away With A Lot Of Pranks Now And What Not.”

“why would you say that?” Papyrus stopped, looking over to his brother. The only light that illuminated them was the TV, which didn’t help much. Sans still had an unreadable expression, but it looked as though his body shook a little. Was he hurt? “do you think i’m really that bad to do that to you?”

“I Wasn’t Implying That,” Papyrus said, looking back towards the movie to avert his gaze from Sans. “Just Trying To Make Light Of A Bad Situation.”

“and that’s your light? to just trick you ‘cuz you can’t remember anything?” the smaller skeleton’s voice sounded as though it was getting tighter. “i’m not cruel.”

“I Know You Aren’t.”

“then why would you say it like it's fucking good for me that you can’t remember anything?” Papyrus looked back over, noting the shakiness in his brother’s voice. Sans’ body didn’t look stable, rather his bones looked to be rattling with tears pricking the corner of his sockets. “it’s not like i meant for it to happen,” he said in a hushed voice, but it was enough for Papyrus to hear.

The taller brother furrowed his brow bones asking, “What Are You Talking About? Of Course You Didn’t Mean For This To Happen, It Was Just Bad Luck.”

Sans brought his knees to his chest to the best of his abilities, not bothering to pay attention to the bowl that pushed against his rib cage and spilled some popcorn to the side as he brought his phalanges to his skull clutching it.

He shook his head murmuring, “no it wasn’t. it wasn’t. i-it, it really wasn’t- i…” Sans tried curling up into a tighter ball. “you shouldn't've went out that day. if you didn’t, th-then it wouldn’t have… it wouldn't of happened…”

“Sans,” Papyrus straightened up and put a hand on Sans’ shoulder asking, “What Are You Talking About?”

His brother’s body racked once Papyrus’ hand rested on his shoulder mumbling out his answer. Seeing this going nowhere, it was time for a different approach. Papyrus wrapped an arm around Sans’ shoulders and pushed him into a side hug, feeling his brother stiffen at the contact.

Funny, Papyrus was expecting to be comforted instead of doing the comforting. He didn’t exactly mind though, because Sans clearly isn’t getting enough and Papyrus was probably getting all of it. Leave it to his brother to just bottle up all his feelings.

They sat there for a good 20 minutes or so, but Papyrus had to admit it felt longer than that. Sans was never good with dealing with his own feelings. He can deal with others’ just fine, but his own? He’d go to the next planet before being forced to face them. It partially came down to that he didn’t want to deal with it with other people. The oddest thing was that most of the time, it was just out of pure laziness. He was literally too lazy to confront his problematic feelings. Well, that was Sans’ answer when Papyrus asked anyway. But knowing his brother being honest - specifically with him - that probably wasn’t the truth, or the entire truth if anything.

When Sans’ body became more relaxed with his breathing in a calmer state, Papyrus asked again what his brother was talking about. Sans picked up his head, rubbing his cheekbones dry murmuring his apologies before explaining.

“um…” He readjusted himself, moving away from Papyrus’ hug and looked at the mess he made. “oops... should uh, probably clean that up-”

“Later,” Papyrus caught Sans’ arm as he began standing up, pulling him back down. “Just Tell Me What’s Wrong.”

Sans stared before chuckling, averting his gaze to the ground. “funny. pretty sure i was on comfort duty,” ah, so he was thinking the same thing. Shifting in his seat, Sans fixed the popcorn bowl in his lap.

There wasn’t exactly much left in there now, but it wasn’t really something either brother was paying close attention to. Fiddling with the popcorn left, Sans took a deep breath before speaking.

“so... okay, um… you know why you were driving the car… right?”

“I Was Picking You Up From Somewhere, Wasn’t I?”

“somethin’ like that. i think i was at grillby’s and i got drunk by accident. i dunno. maybe i just didn’t wanna leave? probably that honestly since i don't really care 'bout getting drunk. i guess that’s not really important,” Sans sat the bowl down on the floor, to which the white canine moved to eat out of it. Probably should stop them, but that dog has eaten a lot of things and survived. Hugging himself, Sans gave a shaky sigh. “i shoulda just shortcut back home, but i didn’t. you had to pick me up. and then you got into an accident… and the rest is pretty much history.

“i freaked out when i heard you got hospitalized, and i was freaking out that it was a hospital that wouldn’t really help you ‘cuz you were a monster… and then y’know, you got up one day. thought everything would be fine, but then you kept… repeating. at first i didn’t really think all of it was my fault. s’just bad luck, right? really... really… really bad luck,” Sans sniffed and rubbed his socket again, making sure it still wasn’t wet. “then days went on… a year went by… then another year… i think nearing the third year i started to think about how if you didn’t try to come and get me, you would still be okay. you’d remember things that happened a year ago… a week… hell, a day would be amazing. but then i shrugged it off sayin’ it was bad luck but as time went on, i…” Sans wiped his sockets again, sniffing. “... at some point, i realized it was probably my fault. and now you have to live like this, but you wouldn’t have to if i’d- oh stars…”

Sans pulled Papyrus into a surprise hug, pulling his skull to his shoulder apologizing profusely. Even though he explained, Papyrus didn’t get it. Sans was living a movie cliche it felt. Blaming himself for something he had no control over.

Papyrus began hugging back saying it wasn’t his fault, which Sans disagreed. He tried pulling away but his brother wouldn’t let go, his grip tight like a vice.

“Sans,” Papyrus kept his voice low, something that must be common now for everyone around him, “I Don’t Blame You.”

“you should.”

“It Was Just Bad Luck,” he said. “I Could Have Not Ended Up In An Accident And We Could’ve Gotten Home Just Fine. Or Maybe We Could Have Both Been In The Accident Instead Of Just One Of Us. It’s… Hard To Wake Up And Find Out Five Years Passed. But I’m… I’M SURE WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS! WE CAN’T GIVE UP AFTER ALL!” he spoke with enthusiasm. Because he still had to believe everything would turn out well, right? It’s been five years, but it didn’t mean he should stop hoping. Even if it suddenly felt harder. Even harder thinking how many times he'd thought the same thing with no change.

Sans released his tight grip, moving to look at Papyrus’ face before chuckling with a grin, his voice still shaky. “course you can stay so positive. you’re just so cool like that.”

“THANK YOU! I AM VERY GREAT AFTER ALL!” his voice got Sans laughing again as he brought his brother back into a hug.

“love ya bro.”

“I LOVE YOU TOO SANS,” Papyrus replied. “... JUST KNOW THAT YOU CAN STILL DO JOKES LIKE THAT STILL. SOMETHING SMALL LIKE REWATCHING A MOVIE I DON’T LIKE WON’T HURT. WELL, NOT PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY ANYWAY. I CANNOT SAY THE SAME FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT.”

Sans gave another small chuckle. “course bro. no use _skull-_ king, right?”

“AND YOU’VE SUCCESSFULLY RUINED THE MOMENT. GOOD JOB SANS.”

“thanks.”

Papyrus sockets drooped down, but he fought to keep them open as the credits were coming in. Sans by this point was snoring, leaning against him in his sleep. The dog had cleaned pretty much all the popcorn, but Papyrus would have to leave a note to clean the couch tomorrow for any other popcorn bits. The dog was on the floor, on their back snoozing while Calibri was still sleeping on the back of the couch. Jandles had squeezed herself between Papyrus and Sans, purring contently.

There was some sudden shifting on Sans side, and before Papyrus knew it, the TV’s volume was getting lower and becoming softer. Something that a normal being could more easily sleep to. He was getting drowsier before he knew it.

“... I Don’t Want To Sleep.”

More shifting with the addition of his brother’s low, and now that he thought about it, soporific voice murmuring, “i know.”

“I Don’t Want To Forget Today.”

The VCR player was shut off. “i know.”

“I Don’t Want To Forget Tomorrow.”

The TV was shut off shortly after. The room was so much darker with both devices off.

“i know.”

“Have I Done This Before?”

Papyrus’ skull drooped with his body, his sockets barely kept open as he felt the covers getting pulled up to his shoulders.

“mhmm.”

“I Have To Write In That Morning Journal.”

“i’ll take care of it bro,” Sans’ voice was soft as Papyrus felt his hands against his cheekbones, realizing Sans was cleaning off tears. “it’s time for bed.”

Papyrus tried remembering earlier, how he had to have hope that all would end well. But to be on the brink of the end of the day, to be lulled to sleep knowing tomorrow he wouldn’t have a clue what happened today, to go through that same morning… it was terrifying. For once, he wished he’d go back to not sleeping. Why did he stop that? Over exhaustion? Why did his past self make his bed time so much sooner?

“here,” Sans pulled Papyrus down, Jandles moving as well to be leaning against the side of Papyrus’ rib cage as he was pulled to lay down with the back of his skull falling onto a pillow, a familiar hand moving across his skull. It wasn’t helping his attempt to stay awake.

“... Do You Normally Do This?”

“sometimes,” he said. “you have all your notes in your diary, right?” Papyrus nodded. “i’ll use that to do your morning journal then, alright?”

“Okay…” he mumbled.

Papyrus took a deep breath, unaware that he was shaking until he heard his unsteady sigh. Sans shushed him in response, and it only made his body yearn to slumber. Another mass leaned against his other side, indicating Calibri came down to cuddle.

The purring mixed with shushing and gentle movements across his skull made Papyrus hiccup.

“... Please Don’t Do This Sans.”

The movement paused after the words. Had he never begged that? It wasn’t something he could pay attention to as his SOUL ached with knowing the inevitable. His mind kept telling him what he told Sans. Everything would be fine. But another part of him didn’t want to believe that and wanted to never sleep. Because if he slept, then the cycle would repeat. And tomorrow, he wouldn’t have a clue how hard he was trying to stay awake and practically pleading for Sans to stop lulling him to sleep.

Papyrus took heavy breaths begging again, “Please Stop. I Don’t Want To Sleep.”

“... i know you don’t,” Papyrus felt Sans’ teeth touch the top of his skull, his brother’s hands wiping away tears again. “you’ll be fine though, i promise. i’ll be there.”

“What If You’re Not.”

“i will be.”

“What If You Can’t?” Sans didn’t respond. Papyrus took another ragged breath whispering, “I Don’t Want To Forget Brother… Please Stop…”

Another peck on the cranium earning more hiccups. “sh shh, i know it’s scary, i know… you’ll be fine paps, promise.”

Seeing how he was losing against his body and environment, Papyrus attempted steadying his breathing as his brother stroked his skull, cleaning his cheekbones and sockets from tears every now and again.

“... Sans?” he croaked, to which his brother hummed in response. “Tomorrow, Can You…” he reached out and grabbed his brother’s jacket tightly continuing, “... Do You Think You Could Wake Me Up?”

“i can try.”

Papyrus nodded slightly saying, “Thank You.”

There was silence in the room aside from the purring and shushing as well as small, soft spoken encouragement from his brother telling him it was okay to sleep. Papyrus’ mind still thought otherwise, but was soon drifting into slumber.

“... Sans?”

“hm?”

“Everything Will Turn Out Okay, Right?”

Papyrus was met with silence before Sans responded, “yeah. after all, we can’t give up, right?”

Papyrus hummed saying a small “right”.

It’s still scary. No matter how many times Sans keeps trying to comfort him it’s scary. What have they tried in the past? What was Papyrus to society right now? Did he even have a job yet? Answers "today Papyrus" won’t know.

But hey, maybe "tomorrow Papyrus" will. Maybe "tomorrow Papyrus" won’t have to worry about forgetting again.

He still had to hold out hope.

And with that final thought, Papyrus’ hold on his brother’s jacket went limp.

**Author's Note:**

> "Anterograde amnesiac Papyrus AU"? Bit of a mouthful... maybe just "Anterograde Papyrus AU" works. Whatever, this would be a near ask blog thing though. But I probably don't have the energy to do that. And in case anyone (that being no one) is curious, I do have an idea for retrograde amnesia Papyrus but don't have anything for it.  
> So if no one noticed whoever is reading back to this, I try to do edits in a story to better match characters sometimes. For example, I noted how Papyrus actually makes puns himself because I didn't realize in the game he makes a CRAP TON. Whether he realizes he's making them, I'm not exactly sure?? At first you'd think he is, but then you call him at the dump and he makes a pun and tells you to forget he said that. Which means either he doesn't normally think he's making puns or he just thought that was a bad "Sans pun". But then when you first meet him, he deliberately makes his backbone pun, and it gets me confused, and so I opted for a combination of the two. Not sure why I felt I had to explain all that, but there you go.
> 
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